This section provides information for professionals who come into contact with and who provide support to people who have been bereaved by suicide. Effective support after a suicide, known as "postvention" is key to helping people to recover and to prevent further suicides happening within the family and community.
When someone dies by suicide, a large number of agencies may become involved and will have contact with the bereaved family and friends. This includes the police, paramedics, coroners or procurator fiscals, media, health professionals, funeral directors, faith leaders, counsellors and members of other voluntary organisations. Every interaction provides an opportunity to support the bereaved and help to lessen their sense of isolation.
You may work in a community which has been affected by a suicide – this could be a workplace, an educational establishment, a prison, a housing project or any other organisation. Managing the emotional and practical impacts in the days, weeks, months and even years afterwards is an important part of recovery.
In this section you can find out more about the needs of those bereaved by suicide, the support available and how you can help.
Postvention refers to the actions taken to support the community after someone dies by suicide. Good postvention support can help people to grieve and recover and can be a critical element in preventing further suicides from happening.
There is no single or right way to respond to a suicide. All organisations and communities have different needs and the individual circumstances will need to be taken into account.
Good postvention plans are based on principles and key actions which enable the appropriate decisions and actions for the circumstances and ensure that timely and appropriate care and support is provided. We can assist you and your organisation with developing your postvention plan.
Bereavement by suicide shares characteristics with other bereavements and it is also different. Understanding how and why it differs is helpful when you are supporting people who have been bereaved.
The grieving process is often complicated and typically lasts longer than other types of bereavement – significant effects may still be felt for many years after the death. We are all individuals and each person will have had a unique relationship with the person who died – there is no single or correct way to experience bereavement. However, there are many common reactions and factors in bereavements by suicide.
Aspects of the experience of bereavement by suicide which make it different can include:
A death by suicide is usually sudden, often unexpected and may be violent. These factors increase the degree of shock and trauma experienced compared to many other types of bereavement. Survivors may struggle to make sense of what has happened and fundamental beliefs may be challenged.
Bereavement by suicide can bring an intensity and range of emotions and physical reactions which may be unfamiliar, frightening and uncontrollable. Emotional reactions are often complex and people may find that they are experiencing a bewildering range of feelings including guilt, anger, shame, rejection, sadness and fear. People who have been bereaved by suicide may become vulnerable to thoughts of suicide themselves. Physical reactions may include tightness in various body parts, stomach pains, sleeplessness and poor concentration.
Those who have been bereaved by suicide may have symptoms of post traumatic stress. If the person witnessed the death or found the body, they may suffer from flashbacks or nightmares. This can also happen even if the person did not see them, but cannot stop imagining what happened – and imagination may be worse than reality.
Most people bereaved by suicide are haunted by two questions – "why did the person take their life?" and "Could I have somehow prevented it?". These are impossible questions to answer and eventually, the person may have to either have to accept that they will never know or settle on an answer that they can live with. It is natural that the bereaved person will take some considerable time in exploring these questions and it is an important part of the grieving process.
However, it can also be damaging if they are unable to reach a stage where the questions occupy less of their thoughts or if they cannot find an answer they can accept. Self esteem, confidence and hope can be severely compromised.
Death by suicide, even more than other types of bereavement, makes many people uncomfortable and unsure how to react. There is still a stigma attached to suicide, rooted in centuries of history and this generates misplaced associations of weakness, blame, shame or even sin or crime. This stigma can prevent people from seeking help when they need it and others from offering support when they want to. There may be a desire to deny that the death was a suicide – this may be driven by cultural values or from a sense of denial or of shame. This can create further confusion in an already complex situation. Many people who have been bereaved by suicide find that they feel isolated. Others may avoid them, perhaps not knowing what to say or because they don't want to upset the person.
The sense of isolation may be especially acute if the bereaved person perceives other people to be uncaring or judgemental. Some people are unlucky enough to receive particularly thoughtless and malicious comments. It may also be that the bereaved person avoids contact themselves – they may struggle to share their own feelings because they are fearful of what they are experiencing, they don't want to upset other people or they may worry about how to answer questions such as "how did he die?"
Whilst family and friends are often a great source of support, they can also be a source of tension and conflict. Sometimes families struggle to communicate, protective instincts kick in and they may be worried about causing more pain or about having a different view or feeling to others. Because the range of feelings and emotions experienced after a suicide can be so unfamiliar and frightening, people may be uncomfortable or scared to share. Existing tensions and difficulties in family relationships can surface as a result of the shock and trauma.
Some people cope with their pain by blaming another person for the death – this may go as far as excluding them from the rest of the family, denying them the opportunity to attend the funeral and withholding information about the investigation. This can lead to huge rifts and a deep sense of hurt and isolation being added to the loss.
There may be other factors which create additional stigma – these can include the death happening whilst in custody or the sexuality of the person who died or that of their family or friends. Exclusion or blame may mean that the person feels further hurt or isolated.
When someone dies by suicide, it can be difficult to maintain privacy. There may be emergency services at the scene and visits from police. There may be media attention – this can happen when the person dies and may be repeated after the investigation by the coroner or procurator fiscal. The inquest is held in a public court of law and anyone can attend – in certain circumstances, reports will be made which remain on publicly accessible databases.
The investigation by the coroner or procurator fiscal is a source of considerable concern for those bereaved by suicide. The process can be lengthy, the proceedings are unfamiliar and the language is legal and technical. The process is open to public attention and there is often media reporting. There may also be additional investigations e.g. if the death happened whilst the individual was under the care of another agency e.g. in prison or if they were receiving mental health treatment. In addition to being an added strain, investigations may reveal information about the bereaved person which was unknown to their family and friends.
In addition to this, there are other practical concerns such as finances, funerals, returning home and returning to work which the bereaved will need to face.
Effective support after a suicide is key to helping individuals, families and communities to recover. Support may come from a variety of places including the family or community, health or welfare professionals and other organisations. Because we are all individuals, we may all need different forms of support and at different times. Even when family and friends are wonderfully supportive, it can be helpful for survivors to have a safe, private space where they can express themselves.
Much of the support available is provided through charity and voluntary organisations like ourselves. We provide a safe, confidential environment in which bereaved people can share their experiences and feelings, giving and gaining support from each other. Our services are run by volunteers who have been bereaved by suicide. It is our experience that many people feel unable to share or don't feel understood until they talk with another person who has also been bereaved by suicide.
We run support groups across the UK, a support line and an email service which are based on the principle of self-help and sharing (we do not provide counselling). We also provide information through our publications and this website.
Our services are only available to 18's – we recommend people younger than this explore the range of organisations who can support under 18's.
Under 18 Support Organisations
There is a range of support services available from other organisations that operate nationally and locally including counselling, listening services and crisis support. There is also a range of specialist support available for families, young adults and children.
The countries of the UK each have a national suicide prevention strategy, all of them echo the importance of organisations working together to help prevent suicide and the importance of providing effective support after a suicide. The implementation of these strategies is delivered through local planning and coordination. The commitment to and effectiveness of these local strategies varies across the UK.
We encourage professionals to get involved in their local suicide prevention strategy – or to campaign for the creation of one if it does not already exist. Only by making suicide everyone's business and working together can we reduce the number of tragic deaths and the devastation left behind in the families and communities. To find out more about what is happening in your local area, look at the resources below:
Choose Life is Scotland's national strategy and action plan to prevent suicide in Scotland. The Choose Life framework ensures action is taken nationally and locally to build skills through training, improve knowledge and awareness of good suicide prevention practice, and to encourage improved co-ordination between services.
In addition to our publications, government guides and general resources about the topic of suicide bereavement, you may also be interested re/publications/sources and organisations which are aimed at professionals and academics.
The Centre for Suicide Prevention at Manchester University is a leading UK centre for research into suicidal behaviour. They embrace two major long-term research programmes – both provide crucial evidence to support service and training improvements that increase patient safety, reduce risk and save lives.
Visit Centre for Suicide Prevention at Manchester University
Oxford University has the Centre for Suicide Research. The Centre is based in the Department of psychiatry and is directed by Professor Keith Hawton. The overall research programme of the Centre is focused on investigation of the causes, treatment and prevention of suicidal behaviour.
The Centre for Academic Mental Health at Bristol University hosts a vibrant community of quantitative, qualitative and clinical researchers whose common aim is to better understand the causes of suicide and suicidal behaviour so as to inform clinical and population based prevention strategies.
The International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) is dedicated to preventing suicidal behaviour, alleviating its effects and providing a forum for academics, mental health professionals, crisis workers, volunteers and suicide survivors.
The Samaritans provide support for people who work in the railway industry and also have a specialist service to support schools after someone dies by suicide.
Visit Samaritans Railway Industry Visit Samaritans Step by Step
Those of us who have experienced this terrible tragedy truly understand. None of us need to suffer alone. Together we help each other.
We help individuals support each other, at the time of their loss and in the months and years that follow. We aim to provide safe, confidential environments where people can share their experiences and feelings, giving and gaining support from each other.
By entering your postcode or local town, you can locate your nearest peer to peer support group. We offer both face to face and virtual support groups. Our group facilitators have also been bereaved by suicide, so you will be met with understanding.
Call our national supportline to talk about your loss, get help on being impacted by suicide or for information. Our phones are answered by trained volunteers who have been impacted by suicide, so they will hear you with compassion and understanding.
Please call 0300 111 5065, we are open everyday 9am-7pm
Some people find it easier to write down their thoughts and feelings or ask for information when it might be difficult to pick up a phone. Like the Supportline, our Volunteers have experience of suicide bereavement.
Please contact email.support@uksobs.org
Our online community forum offers peer-to-peer support to those bereaved by suicide. Please click the image above to complete an application form to gain access to our forum. Forum applications will be approved within a couple of days. You must be over the age of 18 to access our forum.