My name is Ed, I lost my Dad to Suicide in 1975. I had 2 weeks off school then resumed my life, as did my family and hardly ever mentioned how he died for a long old time and very much to the present day for most of them.
Some 30 years later; happily married, two gorgeous kids, decent job….I knew something wasn’t right in my life, inexplicable sadness in a perfect family setting, I realised that all the emotions from Dad’s death were still locked up inside me and probably needed bereavement counselling. I built up the courage and got an appointment with my GP, he was the first person I had ever told in full about how Dad had died and my feelings!
The GP, well read-up on mental health, suggested counselling would not be right for me because I knew mostly why I felt the way I did. He instead introduced me to SoBS and over the following few weeks the giant millstone of unanswered sadness/guilt/shame was lifted and I started sleeping normally for the first time I can remember; that’s pretty good medicine with no drink and drugs! For the first time I was able to talk freely about Dad’s death and how it had affected me. I keep most of that talk for the group, but it did equip me to be more open with friends and family.
I volunteer for SoBS (10 years now) and run the local group near Crewe. I find helping people share their grief, experiences, sadness, anger (and jokes) gives them the same lift I received and I know anything I share about my own experiences and feelings, is met with empathy and respect, not suspicion or shock; this helps me as well as them.
In society and no doubt a cause in the generally high Male suicide rates, is MOST BLOKES DON’T SHARE THEIR PRIVATE THOUGHTS OR FEELINGS! We felt that not enough support was available for guys cope with the same extreme feelings that everyone has after a loss to suicide and may be able to express them more openly within a male only setting. We have launched our bereaveMENt virtual meetings on line to see if we can help improve the situation.
I hope this note catches your eye and if you could just give this free experience a go or two, then maybe we can help in quality of your life going forward.
Attendance is free, we are not pressing for volunteers or donations (although both are welcome), all we ask for is respect, confidentiality and politeness in the meeting.
Ed ~ Crewe Group facilitator