I lost my partner

I am David age 50, I lost my partner age 42 her name was Wendy.

I still feel shock after coming home to our flat to find something unusual, 2 letters – one to her brother. I felt sick as I knew something was wrong and after going to the police, found out Wendy was found in the river.

To which it ripped my life to shreds, it’s not possible to describe the pain I felt. We got on so well and had such good connection, it don’t make sense. I do know Wendy had emotional problems relating to a family break up.

It’s been 2 years now and it’s been hell for me. My feelings over Wendy’s decision are so complex, I can’t explain, the only thing that has helped me is joining Sobs in Bury St Edmunds. I have had a lot of support but from outside the group all I get is “David, life goes on” but for me it don’t. I don’t know why Wendy did not tell me she had suicide thoughts but I can only say maybe she was trying to protect me from it but I would have helped her so much if I would have known and now all I can do is carry on going to Sobs in Suffolk and getting support as well has giving others support to carry on with what’s left of our lives. But I can say without doubt when I found out what happened my life came to an end, it stopped and all I do now is exist